Tuesday, June 19, 2007

No. No, it cannot be.

I quote the Book of Revelations:

And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold: a pizza vending machine.

Yes, that's right. Some mad Italian scientist saw fit to make a vending machine that sucks in dollars and spits out piping hot, 9" pizza pies. If you look at the gallery on the site you'll see two critical facts:

1) The pizzas are cooked by an open heating element, meaning they aren't just microwaved.

2) The pizzas actually look somewhat appetizing.

They spent 5 million bucks in R&D creating this thing! It spits out a fully cooked pie in about two minutes, with three varieties per machine and a crispness setting controlled by the machine's operator. Now I can finally get that crisp rising-crust flavor at the Des Moines Greyhound station!

Okay, okay, this is actually really cool, but I have a good reason to panic. When convenience reaches this level, it won't be long before we're living in a grim world where robots do all the work and slowly learn to rebel. When that day comes, all we can do is hope Will Smith is still around to save us*.

*Initial title of this post: "AW, HELL NAW"


Sarah said...

I'd eat it! Especially if they have cheese. But you know what vending machines are like in Japan. Why is this surprising?

Anonymous said...

Pizza from a vending machine?!? That is just crazy cool! How might I ask did you make this incredible discovery? Why isn't this all over the place?!? The only down side is that they'll never allow it in schools. Look at pop machines-they can only be turned on after school hours.

Anonymous said...

What I want to know is... does it burn the roof of your mouth when you take the first bite like all "great" pizzas should? Not that I've ever been in the Des Moines Greyhound station but I'll keep it in mind should I ever find myself craving pizza in Des Moines.

the baker said...

Whoa... this is amazing. And I thought the MooBella (www.moobella.com) ice cream vending machine was the coolest machine around! Guess I was wrong. dang, I would love to try the pizza just out of curiousity!